The Power of Having Pure Intentions - Anne Cohen Writes (2024)

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Pure intentions—I’ve written about them before, but I’m suddenly feeling the desire to continue on, what I thought said enough of the first time. Knowing what you want in a partner, and a friend, and in life is imperative. When you gointoany situation, you should do so withthe purest of intentions, and by pure, I mean by being honest, direct, and letting a person know what your true motive is.

Nothing is worse than when someone has ulterior motives or some game plan that you’re completely unaware of. When someone tells you that they have certain expectations or that they want or don’t want certain things, listen to what they say, and don’t hear what you want to hear, sweeping what they’re telling you under the rug, because you’d prefer to hear or believe something else. For example, when someone tells you that they don’t think of you as “marriage material” for them, or when someone tells you that they’re not looking for anything “serious” right now, believe them. Of course, these are just two examples.

Over the years, and on a personal level, I’vefound it to be quite the struggle to make good friendships and even more so, to keep them. I don’t deny that me being to blame, at least in some partial way, is possible. I’m also not sure if the reason is because I’m living in Los Angeles.I’ve definitely seen my share in the dating scene that have lacked pure and honest intentions, buteven when it comes to having friends that are male. They’llsay that they’re O.K. with friendship, when truly, they have some other motive, desire, and whatever elseon their mind. It’s truly unfortunate, because this is how friendships end, and sometimes very suddenly.

It’s hard enough tobe in a healthy and loving relationship,or even to make a good friend, let alone to open your heart, be authentic, and feel vulnerable enough to let yourselfdevelop feelings for someone, whether friendship or romantically. And then have that friendship or relationship come to an end, because someone wasn’t honest from the get-go. I’m going to write this in bold letters so that no particularperson takes it personally, because this is something that I’ve experienced over, and over, and yes, over again.

Nothing is worse than letting yourself be vulnerable enough to develop feelings for someone, and getting hurt, becausetheir intentions weren’t pure. Therefore, I wanted to give a little advice to those reading this, and that would be to think about what you say before you say it, think before you act, don’t mislead others.Be direct, be honest, and have pure intentions. Don’t say things in order to make people feel good, when they’re not true. Don’t say things that you think someone will want to hear, in order to gain their love, their friendship, shared intimate moments, and their trust for closeness and affection. Doing so, could likelycause tremendous pain to others, and on whatever level a person will feel that pain, it’s not only unnecessary, but it’s very cruel and selfish.

Please be kind to others, and if you really love someone, love them enough to be honest from the get-go. Be direct inyour approach, and don’t pretend, because pretending is just another form of games, and it can lead someone to unhappiness, misery, the lack of trust in others, and I’m sure that that’s the last thing that anyone would want to do to someone that they feel love towards— even if it’s just for the sake of being a good person and not wanting to cause others pain or discomfort.

Youshould give your love and kindness to those whodeserve it. And even when peopledon’t deserve it, youshould still be kind. Choose your words wisely. When needed, bite your tongue, hold your breath, and don’t say what you’re thinking if you know that it’s going to hurt someone, or ifyou know that you’re stepping over certain boundaries, that perhaps you promised not to walk over. Don’t take people or situations in life for granted, and be true to yourself, and at the same time, make sure that your intentions stay pure and honest, and that you’re being true to them as well.

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